What We’re really in control of

Letting go of what we can’t control makes space for peace, presence, and power to grow.

(And what it means to take responsibility for us)

Life can feel unpredictable and overwhelming at times. We all experience things we didn’t choose like pain, loss, betrayal, or circumstances that were never fair. But even when we can’t control what happened, we can take responsibility for how we move forward.

Taking responsibility for ourselves isn’t about blame or perfection. It’s about ownership. It’s the gentle choice to care for the parts of us that have been hurt and to stop giving our power away to what we cannot change.

What We Can Control

Our awareness

We can’t always control what happens around us, but we can notice what’s happening within us. Awareness helps us pause, breathe, and choose rather than react.

Our responses

Our nervous system may react automatically, but with practice we can build the capacity to respond with intention. That small space between reaction and response is where healing begins.

Our boundaries

We get to decide what and who we allow into our space physically, emotionally, and energetically. Boundaries are not rejection; they are acts of self-respect.

Our self-care and regulation practices

We can choose to tend to ourselves through rest, grounding, movement, prayer, breathwork, or time in nature. These practices may not erase pain, but they help us hold it with more compassion.

Our mindset and meaning making

We may not control circumstances, but we can choose the story we tell about them. We can shift from “Why is this happening to me?” to “What is this teaching or awakening in me?”

Our choices and actions

Even in chaos, there is usually one small, aligned step we can take that honors where we are and moves us toward who we are becoming.

Taking Responsibility for Ourselves

Taking responsibility is one of the greatest acts of love we can offer ourselves. It’s saying, “I can’t change the past, but I can change how I care for myself now.”

It looks like noticing when our wounds are driving our reactions, choosing to regulate before responding, owning our patterns without shame, asking for help instead of hiding, and setting boundaries that support our healing.

It’s not self-blame. It’s self-leadership—the moment we stop waiting for others to change and start walking ourselves home.

You are not responsible for the wounds that happened to you, but you are responsible for your healing.

What We’re Not in Control Of

There is freedom in releasing what isn’t ours to carry. We can’t control other people’s behavior, choices, or healing process. We can’t control the past or how others perceive our growth. We can’t control the timing of life’s unfolding.

When we stop trying to manage what’s beyond our control, we create space to nurture what is within our reach and

our own presence, peace, and power.

Rooted Reflection

Take a deep breath. Place a hand over your heart or your belly and ask yourself:

What in my life right now is within my control?

Where am I being invited to take gentle responsibility for my own healing?

You don’t need to have it all figured out. You only need to start where you are.